i think my shin is pregnant

it is saturday night and i am already in bed because my shin on my right leg is so itchy i could never go anywhere. it is itchy because last night i clawed my way to the earth's core and it turns out it is very hot down there, so hot that it has made my shin so itchy. either that or my shin is pregnant (pregnant people are always itchy, i read it in a magazine called chrono passion) and we've got a baby shin on the way. i swear to god if that's the case it'll be out and on its own the day it turns eighteen. i won't be stuck with a shin for the rest of my life, and it better make itself useful too. i bet there are loads of jobs going for a shin like runner athlete or crane operator. whatever, it's probably just itchy because i am allergic to my bed sheets. maybe i SHOULD go out, it is saturday night after all and with a baby on the way i should have as much fun as i can until my life is ruined. maybe shins can't even get pregnant, now that i think about it i don't think they can. anyway i already disregarded that when i said i was itchy because i am allergic to cotton. it's a shame as it's one of my favourite meals. i've been eating velcro - the hook side (scratchy and full of fibre). self adhesive. i think it has given me tummy issues. i think i'll just stay in bed, but my shin is so itchy.