"Oy Vey is composed of sugar, spice and all things nice according to ancestry dot com, which also showed her to be a distant cousin of HRH Lord Biscoff of Lotus. Oy Vey is semi-speaking and can channel her voice at will, either through the meowsic keyboard or direct-to-brain which causes a euphoric death. She is also fluent in Dutch. Her best friend is her snorse (snail horse) Celery Goop on a String/Lime but otherwise she doesn’t play favourites because a princess wouldn’t do that."
Little is known about Oy Vey's past but we can piece bits together from what she has told us. We know she was born some time in 1988 to Jewish-Gingerbread parents who may have been eaten shortly after her birth. Zoë has since said they share a birthday, meaning Oy Vey celebrated is on January 12th. It is believed this was retroactively decided as they wanted to share. She wound up at the Manchester Trafford centre some thirty five years later and that's where her story in the Zoë Bread Cinematic Universe (no patent) begins. You can see the full timeline below, up here will be the ramblings of a hungry hungry horsey who decided to do this today instead of making a tiktok video and is still in bed despite the time being 14:18pm o’clock. It’s Sunday, it’s fine. Back to Oy Vey!
As you can see from the photo above, Oy Vey was, unbelievably, sold as a festive folly man believed to be called Fred! It seems absurd to us now but they genuinely thought she was a little Christmas man, little did they know she was an avid follower of the Jewish faith, despite being very ill informed about it. Oy Vey and I try to honour our Jewish heritage together but we usually just eat bagels and pick up pieces of money that we find. She does still enjoy Christmas, for Christmas 2022 she asked for a dreidel from Santa and was actually given one at New Year by a cousin, she sleeps with it in her bed.
It was revealed in the one million follower special that Oy Vey is the only member of the cast to have a pilot’s license, and because of this she has sole responsibility for flying the drone. She is very skilled at what she does. It is unclear when she obtained her license but it has been alluded to in the past that she may have been in the army for a short time. Her gentle nature and soft body mean she is much better suited to a life in the mystery machine with the rest of the gang (the other one not that one). It is also revealed in this episode that she edits all the videos while Zoë lies in a pile of hay near a road. She appears to eat jelly tots while she works.
yay!! i'm glad i'm not in the army anymore
Above, Oy Vey is pictured in her bed in Mary Bean, surrounded by her little space stickers. Celery Goop (Lime) on a string keeps guard at the end, but that's another snail for another day! Celery is sort of like Oy Vey's horsey.
Oy Vey is the most trustworthy and reliable member of the cast, and because of this is often given positions of power. For example, when Mary attempted to break the Guinness world record for pot throwing, Oy Vey was chosen to be adjudicator. She can be seen saying she is worried about Mary in the video which goes to further show she is the most responsible member. Without Oy Vey, everything would probably fall apart.
This picture shows a kind man at Land's End popping Oy Vey up on the sign where she was able to stand while he took photos. It was a windy day and must have been hard for her. Probably her army endurance training coming in handy. The kind man did question if she was a girl, but it's an easy mistake to make as not many women wear bow ties and nothing else.
Mary and Zoë seem to rely on Oy Vey for comfort more than anyone else. Oy Vey is never mean and that is probably why, as most other van dwellers can be quite cruel at times. This can unfortunately be used against Oy Vey, during Easter week she was manipulated by Jed to mislead Zoë regarding Judas the red herring, something that she felt awful about. Thankfully Zoë and Oy Vey never fall out as they have a deep understanding of each other, and both know how dangerous and annoying Jed can be from past experiences. Zoë had dealt with Jed for years before starting TikTok so would never blame Oy Vey for being blackmailed by him.
Oy Vey is known for being a big fan of horror movies, if Zoë goes to the cinema to watch a horror movie you can be sure Oy Vey will go with. She's a little horror head, her bean shaped head loves horror. She's a little bean head girl who loves to watch people suffer, despite her sunny disposition. She went with Zoë to watch the Saw Patrol double bill (Saw X followed by PAW Patrol). They both agreed Saw was pretty good but the puppies weren't great at investigating the aftermath.
Oy Vey's Timeline
12th January 1988
Oy Vey is born
1st December 2007
Oy Vey is crowned “Miss World” in Sanya, China. Aged just 19 it is the first and last time a gingerbread girl has ever won the award. This was revealed to us on the 8th of November 2023 when Oy Vey visited Coia’s Cafe in Glasgow after seeing that Miss Great Britain had recently visited.
6th October 2022
Oy Vey is purchased on the same day that Porpy's blanket was made. If they hadn't taken so long to embroider it, Oy Vey may have never existed. She makes a brief cameo in the "Who is Porpy" video, although eagle-eyed viewers will notice that the gingerbread jellycat toy featured is not Oy Vey, but a distant cousin
13th November 2022
Oy Vey makes her first appearance, the two of them visit Golders Green and purchase nine bagels. They together eat six of them, Zoë is more affected by this than Oy Vey for some reason
13th December 2022
Oy Vey visits Santa in Newcastle with a piece of lime on her head after a 200-mile cross country road trip to make up for not being able to visit Santa in Newcastle-under-Lyme
6th June 2023
In the 1 million special, it is revealed that Oy Vey has been flying the drone AND editing the videos
10th August 2023
In the van tour video you can see more of Oy Vey's bedroom. She appears to sleep on the top floor of the hostel in a small blue bed. She has space stickers on her wall and the end of her bed is guarded by Celery Goop on a String. There is a monster under her bed but it is confirmed that the monster is kind. The monster looks a lot like the disguise worn by the rarest pencil in the world but we are told they are very different.
30th September 2023
Oy Vey goes to watch the Saw Patrol double bill at the cinema, she gives Saw X a 7 on IMDB and PAW Patrol a 2
Oy Vey's Word Guessing Game
Word:
Eliminated Letters:
- Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
- Opens in a new window.